All I Ever Needed to Learn About Evil …

…I learned from Dr. Doofenshmirtz. If that name is unfamiliar to you, then you obviously don’t watch the Disney Channel cartoon “Phineas and Ferb.”

 

Dr. Doofenshmirtz is a mad scientist and the head of Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc. He’s always creating schemes to enable him take over the tri-state area. He also has lots of childhood resentments. Most of these are pretty funny–to me (not to him).

 

I’ve found that most of my resentments would seem just as silly as Doofensmirtz’s if they were portrayed in a cartoon. The big ones (and yes, I have a few Oprah-worthy stories)–I can forgive those. They’re like acts of nature. What are you gonna do?

 

But it’s those tiny, petty things that are my nemesis (sing along with Doofenshmirtz: “my neme neme, oooh my neme neme neme,”).

 

Shortly after I moved here almost five years ago, I turned an innocent woman, who may be the sweetest, most devoted Christian in town, into my nemesis. How? I accidentally insulted her, and when she got mad at me, I got even madder at her. Doofenshmirtz, I feel your pain!

 

I apologized. I even sent her flowers, but we were no longer friends. For two years we made nice. Then, out of the blue, she offered to become my new house-cleaner.

 

Gulp. Well, sure.

 

It is awkward, but it’s all good. She’s fantastic, and she uses cool organic products. Turns out, I didn’t need to construct some type of “-inator” device to destroy her. I just needed to point that device at my own pride.