Lents I Have Known: 1

First, thanks to all of you who left such kind comments on my last crazy poem. I guess grief is universal.

This Saturday marks two years since my mom died. Last Lent, at the one-year mark, I was still grieving hard. The year before, I was in shock because she died just two weeks into Lent. The Lents before that fall into The Cancer Years.

If you want to know more about Merry Nell Drummond, and if you have a thing for cancer poems, there are 72 of them here on the right-hand side of this blog marked “My Mother’s Diary.” They aren’t all good, but they were all helpful to write.

For those of you walking through grief, I want to say that it does get better, although it never goes away. My friend, Becca, who lost her mother right before I lost mine said, “For the whole first year, I felt like she had just died.”

Now, it feels like it happened a long time ago. When I wrote the marriage post, The Telegram it was the first time I had written about my mom without feeling the need to end it with “and then, she died.”

Despite the zombie dream, it’s like she’s no longer dead. She’s now eternal.

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Comments

  1. Oh, I am so glad that the ‘eternal’ reality is moving into your grief experience at this point. And I for one LOVED every one of those 72 poems and find them extremely helpful to read as I continue to process my own grief over my son-in-law (3 years ago, after years of struggle) and my youngest brother (2 years ago, suddenly but after a lifetime of heartbreak – literally, at the end). And, as you know, I used a few of them in a grief workshop last fall. Your writing is an absolute gift to me, Megan. Every single bit of it. My own mom gets closer to death (as do I, for that matter!) every time I see her. Just spent a long day with her yesterday and had a WILD dream afterwards. These dreams, they teach us about ourselves. Thanks for your kind comments at my place this week – you encourage me so much.

  2. Between your words and your photo, I feel wrapped in beauty.

    Thank you.

  3. I don’t think it ever will or should go away. It becomes part of us perhaps, but the pain is not so great. It’s only been three months here. The dreams don’t come every night now. That last line–she’s now eternal is beautiful. And you have helped plant her legacy with your poems.

  4. Hey there, just checking in to say I know today is Saturday. And it’s time for me to read a few more of the 72 poems.

    Thinking of you this evening.

  5. “She’s now eternal.” I have a lump in my throat.

    I missed the anniversary by a day…but still thinking of you and praying for you.

  6. Beverly Holcomb says:

    BEAUTIFULLY put !
    Eternal she is !!!

    Thank you for blessing us all with your memory and the tributes
    to her……….it helps us to be in the “thin places”………and be in
    touch with the eternal in that way.

    Much love to you, Megan !

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