Warranty

There are gremlins in the dishwasher
(or elves, possibly grumpkins)—
regardless

They are aggrieved
apparently they prefer Cascade Platinum
disdain Finish Orange so

they withheld heat
mucked up the circuitry
punched holes in the filter

The Sears guy says, “No, ma’am.
those Samsungs—read the reviews.”
“Or maybe gnomes,” I insist.

“Do you want the extended home plan or not,
ma’am? It would cover everything in your house
and drop your cost today to 80 bucks.”

“Does it cover Pixies? Fairies? Sprites?
Hobs and Gobs?
“Ma’am, I gotta truck fulla parts.

I don’t know nothin about no supernatural creatures.”
“Oh, sir! Thank you, yes. It could be a minor goddess,
a wicked water nymph.”

The repairman with his belt of tools and wifi-enabled tablet
looked into my soul, then glanced left, then right
and whispered, “My money’s on Aphrodite.”